Trapped in the Cupboard
Unheard[link]
It's early in the mornin
i'm just wakin up
i got a rumble in my belly
i am R. Kelly
A voice calls out "Hey baby!"
My woman comes in the scene
i think, "ooo, damn, girl, i wish you were 13!"
She says "i made you eggs and bacon, for your mornin wakin"
She says "i love you baby, and last night i wasn't fakin"
i said "Hey listen up, i gots to keep it real
This food, it sure look good but bitch i want my cereal!"
So i put on my clothes
i can't believe dese hoes!
Into the kitchen i goes
Bitch i need my Cheerios!
Now i'm so damn mad
That i can hardly sing!
i says "What?"
She says "What?"
i says "What?"
She says "i didn't say anything"
i said "You just wait here, i'll get it my own damn self
The box is right where i left it, it's on the middle shelf"
She asked "What about your cinnamon bun?"
That's when i pulled out my gun
Somethin's goin on in here
i'm gonna get to the bottom of this one
So i go to the cupboard
She says "Don't go in the cupboard!"
"Why what's in the cupboard?"
"Who said anything about the cupboard?"
"You're standin right in front of the cupboard"
"Oh is this the cupboard?"
"Girl you know that's the cupboard!"
And that's when i opened the cupboard
And my box was empty, empty, empty....
Well here i am
At the grocery store
Got my Cheerios
And some milk to pour
i usually get 2%
But now i'm gonna try soy
i need my proteins
i am a growing boy
Oh woman in front of me
Got all these coupons
i said "Bitch do you really need 5 cents off that Grey Poupon?"
The cashier says "Hey aren't you-"
i said "Yes keep it down"
He says "MC Hammer!"
i said "i'll bust you in your fuckin mouth!"
He says "Please chill out man
There's no price in my hand
i gotta do a price check and
i know, Mr. Hammer, you'll understand"
i said "The 2 for 1
What's wrong with this place?
Should we handle this the Christian way?
i'll shoot you in your fuckin face!"
And then he looked at me
And he screamed "Security!"
i said "Oh brother please
cereal is all i need
See i went to my cupboard"
He says "Don't start with the cupboard!"
i said "You shoulda seen my cupboard"
He said "i don't have time for all that i'm a grocery store clerk not your therapist"
So i called up my lady
Said "i'm comin home baby"
She said "Do you miss me?"
Then i heard the Rice Krispies, Krispies, Krispies...
So i'm drivin home
i just can't understand
She didn't buy my Cheerios
She bought her own brand
i'm about to go O.J.
Ya'll know what i mean!
i raced home in a prop car
In front of a green screen
i bust in the house she says "i know what you're thinking
That snap crackle pop you heard was just Pop Rocks and Coke i'm drinking!"
"Hoe"
That's all i could say was "Hoe"
"Tell me hoe, then what the fuck are these Rice Krispie crumbs doin in this bowl?!"
i said "That's it i'm gonna end this video"
And then the door busts down and in busts the po po
i said "Hey officer, what's the problem you beephole?"
He cited 3 times today i pulled my gun out on innocent people
i made a dash for the cupboard
Tried to hide in the cupboard
Couldn't fit in the cupboard
i said "Hey cop you can't take me away because i have 6 more of these videos to make to complete my urban opera"
So here we are now
At the end of the story
And i'm goin to jail
This time not for statutory, tory, tory...
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He didnt put posters up or nething, he just sat on the porch like a goon & waited. That lil boy's gotta think 'U got a pet. U got a responsibility.' If ur dog gets lost u dont look 4 an hr then call it quits. U get ur ass out there & u find that fukn dog!
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look up "stupid" in a thesaurus. do you see "gay" as a synonym?
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He didnt put posters up or nething, he just sat on the porch like a goon & waited. That lil boy's gotta think 'U got a pet. U got a responsibility.' If ur dog gets lost u dont look 4 an hr then call it quits. U get ur ass out there & u find that fukn dog!
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"I don't want to set the world on fire..."
~tunnel-snakes rule, losers drool!
thanks for the fav!
--
winner winner chicken dinner!
--
People always say that men are like wine; they get better with age. Well, what the fuck do we get??? A bunch of Botox offers in our junk mail?
-Tila Tequila
--
People always say that men are like wine; they get better with age. Well, what the fuck do we get??? A bunch of Botox offers in our junk mail?
-Tila Tequila
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